Should I continue with this?

No ending time set.
Hell yeah! 80% [ 58 ]


Hell no! 19% [ 14 ]

Posted: Thu Aug 07, 2008 7:45 am

heh nice story, but may i ask u, how much u do play dota

_________________

w00t! Waiting for Logitech G15 Keyboard, Way to MICRO FASTER :O
I play on Garena, Acc name is Deep.Sin Add me if you want to

Back to top

Posted: Thu Aug 07, 2008 8:10 am

Man i personally think u should spend a long while making a book on these kind of stories, it got me excited to read more of that story,and felt frustrated when i couldnt find anymore......

Back to top

Posted: Mon Oct 13, 2008 7:38 pm

Woah! I almost forgot about this. I couldnt write for some time, so I just left it like this...But the writers block luckly said bye - bye, and I finaly continued this. So heres the third part.



„Tell her. She must know.“ Spoke the Lich King to Mercurial „If she meets her sister in the battlefield, without previous warning , she will be confused, and will thus lose that battle, and die. And she is much more worth to me alive.“

„I know all that Ner'zhul. I’m just waiting the right moment.“ Said Mercurial with spite. She knew what she must do, and she hated the fact that the Lich King is constantly reminding her, like she is dumb.

„Do not dare call me by my name!“ yeled the angered Lich King in the mind of the Spectre. Marcurial laughed inside. Its not only the mention of that name that angers the Lich King. Its the remindor that Mercurial knows what that name means. Its the reminder that she knows the true face of the Lich King. And she liked reminding him from time to time that she is the one of few that knows his past, and that, even though she is a lesser force then him, she can destroy him if she chooses to.

„Why shouldnt I? It is your name after all.“ She chukled „But thats not the topic isnt it. So lets not talk about it. There will be times when we will discus that. Now, lets discus Mortreds matter.“

„Yes. We must. You know the reason why I chose Mortred as your host in this world. And you know that Mortreds sister is now the same to Elune as Mortred is to you. Although Elune cannot pass into matter like you did, she can work her influence on this battlefield, and that does not suit me.“

„Yes, but you needn’t wory about that. Mortred and I will take care of her.“

„I hope you can acomplish that task. If you can not, you are of no use to me whatsoever. And when someone is ussless….“ And there was no need for the Lich King to say it, cause Mercurial already knew.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Shendelzare roamed around the Sentinel camp, looking for a fammiliar face. Now that Magina has gone into battle, she knew not if he will return, and was uneasy. Surounded by unknown faces of battle hardend warriors, assasins of unmachable stealth, and mages of imenense power, she wanted to find someone fammiliar, someone she could talk to. And she found one.

„Traxex!“ Shendelzare called out a dark elf archer that was sitting on the ground, replacing the string on her bow. She froze as she heared Shendelzare’s voice.

„Shendelzare? Is that you?“ said Traxex as she turned around to face the vengeful spirit. „You do not look like yourself these days I see.“

Continued the dark elf more commonly, while a smile spread across her face. „News of your death struck me. I thought I will never get to see you again. As I see, you are still alive, although…not quite the same as before.“

„Well….I was revived by Elune, but it all happened so sudden. I havent has a chance to get used to all this…and I was taken to this war so fast…..I dont know what to do…“

„Well, you can fight, cause that is all that remains. If Elune revived you, and sent you here to fight, then she must have some respect for your skills. That what happened to you, doesnt happen to everyone you know? So there must be a darn good reson for Elune to save you from death. Right now, the only reason I see for your revival is that you help us win this war. This may sound harsh, but a high deity such as Elune, might think of you as no more then a tool.“

„No! I doubt that….“ Almost yelled Shendelzare, as she couldn’t accept what Traxex just said. But she was cut short by the drow ranger.

„Yes! It is so! Do you think a being immortal an powerful as Elune can truly walue an individual like you or me? In truth, she is not so much different from the lich king himself. She has walue for life in general, but no walue whatsoever for a life of an individual. When you die, she will make another warrior and send him here. She will not try to save you. She does not think about you as Shendelezare Silkwood, only as a tool for her own means.“

Shendelzare stood silently in confusion. On some level she knew that Traxex was right, but her mind just wasnt willing to acept that.

„Open your eyes.“ Continued the Drow ranger „Our lives are irelevant to all of them. We just fight for them, and die for them, and new ones will replace us and then it will continue, the battle beetween light and dark. We are just peons. And we can be easily replaced at any time.“

And the Vengeful Spirit could not say anything to deny that. She closed her eyes and took a deap breath, although she didint need to. Old habbits die hard.

„I…I guess I must agree. I knew I’m irelevant from the start but I just didint want it to be true. I wanted to feal….special. Extraordinary. But now I finaly acepted that I am nothing but a mere wepon of Elune.“

„For her,“ said Traxex „you maybe are just a tool, but in my eyes, you are more. You are my friend. The only one who ever acepted me. You are not irelevant to me. And I feel Magina, thinks the same.“

As they were talking, an elf girl riding on a black panther passed by. She raised her head and closed her eyes, expresing her resent towoards the Drow Ranger. Her panther mirored her move.

„I see you are still the same Luna Moonfang.“ Spoke Shendelzare.
Lunas panthersuddenly froze as well as she did. She turned her head around and looked at the Vengful Spirit with unhiden suprise writen on her face.

„And who are you, might I ask? Who are you to speak to me in such manner?“ said Luna arogantly. The tone of her voice clearly shown that she thinks she is above Shenelzare.

The Spirit laughed at the Moon Rider „Don’t you remember me? Is your memory so short? Are you getting old?“ and she smiled after saying the least sentence, knowing that she hit the weakest spot of the Moon Riders boasted ego.

„Old!? I am not old! How dare you say such a thing!“ Luna raised her hand…and nothing happened. The Moon Rider felt suprised, while

Shendelzare and Traxex smiled ,because they both knew what just happened and why. Luna did not so she just gazed into her hand not completly aware of the fact that she failed.

„You cannot do that to me Luna. I am imune to the magic of the moon. Or shall I say protected from it.“

„How can you be? Elunes power cannot be denied by anoyne elses!“

„Then? What do you think who is the one protecting me?“ said Shendelzare still smiling, which seamed to thick off Luna the most.

„You are protected by Elune?“

Traxex chuckled

„You? I am her favored warrior, I, the highest of the moons children!“
„Well now, you are not the only one.“ Remarked Traxex, while Shendlezares smile got wider and wider. She always loved to make Luna angry. The expretion on her face is simply….priceless. Traxex seamed to have the same oppinion.

Luna just looked at Traxex with disqust, and turned her atention back to Shendlezare

„Who do you think you are?“

„Shendlezare Silkwood, High Night Elven Warden. Any questions?“

The suprised expretion that apeared on Lunas face at that moment was the funniest thing Shendelzare and Traxex ever saw, and it made them laugh out loud, as Lunas suprise slowly turned to anger. She was laughed at. She didnt like that. And, for the first time, there was nothing she could do about it.

But soon, there will be nothing to laugh about anymore…
_________________
My Bard Chalenge Entry: Ellras Stow - Dark Druid

Thanks for the sig Thundercracker. (I edited it a little) ^^

Back to top

Posted: Mon Oct 13, 2008 7:49 pm

whoa
is luna going to the scourge's side?
lol
way to revive it!
gj
_________________
Just started on Fan-Fic....read DotaMorph's contest thread for my first entry.
Dirge guide 4% finished.

Back to top

Posted: Mon Oct 13, 2008 9:21 pm

woot! the suspense! glad u continued
_________________
here now and then, little dota time

Clan ZOMP and assorted replays: http://www.dotastrategy.com/forum/ftopic14236.html

HUGE thanks to Reaper_Hybrid for this amazingly EPIC sig!

Back to top

Posted: Tue Oct 14, 2008 3:41 pm

Thx ppl. I will make part 4 as soon as my comp is clean from the virus my dad downloaded. (I'm writing from and internet cafe).So, part 4 will be up soon, I have an increduble surge of ideas these days...FINALY!
_________________
My Bard Chalenge Entry: Ellras Stow - Dark Druid

Thanks for the sig Thundercracker. (I edited it a little) ^^

Back to top

Posted: Tue Oct 14, 2008 11:29 pm

WOOT WOOT! we shall wait for ur next chapter
_________________
here now and then, little dota time

Clan ZOMP and assorted replays: http://www.dotastrategy.com/forum/ftopic14236.html

HUGE thanks to Reaper_Hybrid for this amazingly EPIC sig!

Back to top

Posted: Wed Oct 15, 2008 2:51 pm

Thehe...my comp is back on. But the virus is still there...crap. Everytime I conect to teh internet...trojans arive in thousands. So...I will upload the next chapter tomorow, from the school computer (if they allow me to...T_T)
_________________
My Bard Chalenge Entry: Ellras Stow - Dark Druid

Thanks for the sig Thundercracker. (I edited it a little) ^^

Back to top

Posted: Wed Oct 15, 2008 10:26 pm

k haha xD

good luck!
_________________
here now and then, little dota time

Clan ZOMP and assorted replays: http://www.dotastrategy.com/forum/ftopic14236.html

HUGE thanks to Reaper_Hybrid for this amazingly EPIC sig!

Back to top

Posted: Thu Oct 16, 2008 4:17 pm

Ok, I just read it and...
1. Your title is spelled wrong..its 'Vengeance' not 'Vengance'.
2. You have narrated your story well, but there are too many grammar mistakes..
Keep updating!
_________________
My comedy fanfic-A Dota Story(Updated to ch-10!!)

Back to top

Posted: Thu Oct 16, 2008 4:22 pm

I try my best, but my keyboard is -bleep- up, so misspeling is often. Sry, but theres nothing I can do. Except bye a new keyboard but...I have to travel 30 kilometars for that and its not worth it.

Anyway, any thoughts on the story itself dude?
_________________
My Bard Chalenge Entry: Ellras Stow - Dark Druid

Thanks for the sig Thundercracker. (I edited it a little) ^^

Back to top

Posted: Fri Oct 17, 2008 10:23 am

The story is good, but lacks in character description and grammar.Describe your characters in such a way that a person who has never played Dota will be able to understand the characters and get a liking to them.
As for the grammar, you said that your keyboard is faulty, so there isnt much you can do about that

Back to top

Posted: Fri Oct 17, 2008 11:00 am

talent
_________________
Death is not the end!

Back to top

Posted: Fri Oct 17, 2008 1:02 pm

Yeah, I didnt describe the characters for the very reason that you all know how they look like. Thats good actualy, cause it lets me focus on their mental state and personalities more than on their physical look.
_________________
My Bard Chalenge Entry: Ellras Stow - Dark Druid

Thanks for the sig Thundercracker. (I edited it a little) ^^

Back to top

Posted: Fri Oct 17, 2008 5:05 pm

Oh ok, I guess you're right.

Back to top

Reply to topic
Page 3 of 9    Goto page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9  Next / Jump to Page 123456789



View previous topic   View next topic
All times are GMT

Display posts from previous:  All Posts1 Day7 Days2 Weeks1 Month3 Months6 Months1 Year Oldest FirstNewest First 

You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
You cannot attach files in this forum
You can download files in this forum

Jump to:  Select a forum General----------------AnnouncementsWelcome BoothBugs & SuggestionsRules and Regulations Dota Allstars----------------Latest ReleasesQuestions and AnswersHeroesItemsGeneral DiscussionsDream HeroesDream ItemsDotA ReplaysPremium DotA ReplaysThe Library Chit Chat----------------EtceteraJoke TimeGraphics CenterOther GamesFan FictionThe Armory Playing Online----------------Organized GamesHamachi Servers Archives----------------Dota Allstars ArchivesChitChat ArchivesDS Surveys

DotaStrategy.com Forum Index    .    Fan Fiction