School Jokes

School Jokes

Posted: Mon May 26, 2008 7:37 am

Since class is past approaching...again...Please post all you school jokes. I would like to share mine

Joke # 1

It was at the end of the school year, and a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils. The florist's son handed her a gift. She shook it, held it overhead, and said, "I bet I know what it is. Some flowers." "That's right" the boy said, "but how did you know?" "Oh, just a wild guess," she said. The next pupil was the candy shop owner's daughter. The teacher held her gift overhead, shook it, and said, "I bet I can guess what it is. A box of sweets." "That's right, but how did you know?" asked the girl. "Oh, just a wild guess," said the teacher. The next gift was from the son of the liquor store owner. The teacher held the package overhead, but it was leaking. She touched a drop of the leakage with her finger and touched it to her tongue. "Is it wine?" she asked. "No," the boy replied, with some excitement. The teacher repeated the process, taking a larger drop of the leakage to her tongue. "Is it champagne?" she asked. "No," the boy replied, with more excitement. The teacher took one more taste before declaring, "I give up, what is it?" With great glee, the boy replied, "It's a puppy!"

Joke # 2

My son, Mitchell, a kindergartener, practices spelling with magnetic letters on the refrigerator: "cat," "dog," "dad," and "mom" have been proudly displayed for all to see. One morning while getting ready for the day, Mitchell bounded into the room with his arms outstretched. In his hands were three magnetic letters: G-O-D. "Look what I spelled, Mom!" Mitch exclaimed, a proud smile on his face. "That's wonderful!" I said. "Now go put them on the fridge so Dad can see when he gets home tonight." That Christian education is certainly having an impact, I thought, happily. Just then, a little voice called from the kitchen. "Mom? How do you spell 'zilla?'"

Joke # 3

Miss Jones had been giving her second-grade students a lesson on science. She had explained about magnets and showed how they would pick up nails and other bits of iron. Now it was question time, and she asked, "My name begins with the letter 'M' and I pick up things. What am I?" A little boy on the front row proudly said, "You're a mother!"


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Posted: Mon May 26, 2008 8:05 am

i don't understand the first one
the second one is kinda corny
and the third one....well i kinda get it but didn't really laugh
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Posted: Wed May 28, 2008 2:59 am

The first joke is not difficult to get ^^

The Puppy peed...get it?

~jemual
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Posted: Wed May 28, 2008 3:14 am

i see but sorry to say i'm not laughing
i don't find it that funny
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Posted: Wed May 28, 2008 7:33 pm

Ya those were corny but good try!
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Posted: Thu May 29, 2008 3:45 am

Nt... how about sharing more school jokes?
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Posted: Thu May 29, 2008 9:20 am

......................?
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Posted: Fri May 30, 2008 12:42 pm

wine isnt always white, so most people thought it was red-ish
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Posted: Thu Jul 31, 2008 7:45 am

Puppy's pee should be yellow, hence the teacher should ask, "Beer?".
Those are creative jokes, but the engine of these jokes relies on pure irony to catch the readers off-guard (Very typical), yet, this 'type' of irony surfaces in many jokes, therefore, reducing the laugh factor by a great percentage...Still a good read though, thanks for sharing.
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Posted: Thu Aug 07, 2008 12:20 pm

Sex Little Johnny learns about sex. (by ron unsworth)

Little Johnny comes home from school a little upset, so his mom asks him whats the matter? Johnny says that all the kids in school are talking about f**king and he don’t know what that is.
His mom , a little upset tells him to ask his dad, so he does.
His dad says to him " Well Johnny I can show you better than tell you." Then he tells his wife to get on the bed naked on her knees.
His dad says: "Johnny do you see that patch of fur between your mums legs? Watch this,"
He drops his pants and starts screwing his wife. Johnny's little sister walks in and asks Johnny what he’s doing?
Johnny replies real smugly: "Dads teaching me about f**king". Johnny’s sister asks him if she could learn to.
So Johnny starts taking his pants off and says : "Okay, do you see that patch of fur in between dads legs?.... Watch this! "
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Last edited by narff on Thu Aug 07, 2008 12:23 pm; edited 1 time in total

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Posted: Thu Aug 07, 2008 12:20 pm

Dirty Erection Problem (by ron unsworth)

A guy can't obtain an erection so he goes to the doctor.
The doctor tells him the muscles at the base of his penis are broken down and there's nothing he can do unless he's willing to try an experimental surgery.
The guy asks what the surgery is.
The doctor tells him they take the muscles from the base of a baby elephants trunk, insert them in the base of his penis, and hope for the best.
The guy says that sounds pretty scary but the thought of never having sex again is even scarier so go ahead. The doctor goes ahead and performs the surgery and about 6 weeks later gives him the go ahead to "try out his new equipment".
The guy takes his girlfriend out to dinner.
While at dinner he starts feeling an incredible pressure in his pants. It gets incredibly unbearable and he figures no one can see him so he undoes his pants.
No sooner does he do this than his penis pops out of his pants, rolls across the table, grabs a dinner roll, and disappears back into his pants.
His girlfriend sits in shock for a few moments, then gets a sly look on her face.
She says "That was pretty cool! Can you do that again?"
With his eyes watering and a painful expression on his face, he says "Probably, but I don't know if I can fit another dinner roll up my ass!".


i know its got nothing to do with school but a mate of mine from school days sent it to me so maybe its allright hey..
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Posted: Thu Aug 07, 2008 3:04 pm

...
boring.
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